May 14th, 2008

epic_recs

Have You Seen Him Whom My Soul Loves by Verona May (NC-17)

From Mei:

Title: Have You Seen Him Whom My Soul
Fandom: SPN RPS
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Category: AU, angst
Length: epic
Warnings: angst; self-harm; blasphemy; deliberate misuse and abuse of Christian (Catholic) imagery, rituals and beliefs; attempted-suicide

Author on LJ: veronamay
Author's website: n/a

Author's Summary: Matthew 26:41—"Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak."

Review:
Jensen lost his parents at a young age. He grew up as a ward of the Catholic Church and then went on to seminary school to train as a priest. After working for the archbishop in San Antonio (who presumably gave him a good reference), he got assigned his very own parish, and that's where he meets Jared, newly engaged (to Sandy) and ready to fall in love with Jensen.

There is a lot of angst in this story simply because of its nature (priest!Jensen), but the ending is truly freeing that will make you forget all about the angst. I loved the way the author paid so much attention to details--the clothing, the masses; it made the story so much more real. I need to warn everyone that the story contains semi-explicit self-flagellation. Don't read if that bothers you.

The Reverend Mother from Sound of Music had said in the movie: "You must find out how God wants you to spend your love. [...] If you love this man, it doesn't mean you love God less." Jensen probably would suffered less if someone had introduced him to Sound of Music. 

Oh, and Leviticus was mentioned (we could all use a few Leviticus jokes, right?). Seriously, I wouldn't mind going to full-day mass as long as I get to sing and read Leviticus. All in all, highly recommended.

Have You Seen Him Whom My Soul Loves (index post)